Who Initiated the Sex Talk and Who Was Present?
The first time we talked I was 13 and in the car with my mom, I had just gotten my last gardasil shot and she told me that whenever I felt that I needed to talk about Birth control or the decision to have sex I should come to her, she promised me she would be open minded. The next, and more serious time was when I was 16. My mom initiated the discussion. I had been with my boyfriend for six months. It was just us two at the dinner table.
The Major Points That Were Discussed
We discussed whether I had talked about it with my "partner" and talked about that it was a big decision but that at least if I did decide to do it that it would be with someone who truly cared about me. She asked me what types of birth control I would consider, I said I would want both a hormonal and a barrier method to be careful. She just told me again to come to her if I needed, but to really think it through.
- Be open with your parents, show them that you are not a stereotypically impulsive teen and that you take sexuality seriously (first make sure this is true, as if it's not you're probably not ready).
- Ask questions, they would rather you have all the information than make a mistake, at least in most cases.
- If you don't feel that you can talk to your parents find another adult, like a guidance counselor or family friend that you trust.
- All adults faced this same decision at one point so it's not as if they don't understand.
- Tip for Parents: Trust and Respect your teens
How Old Were You When You Had the Sex Talk?
13 and then again, more seriously at 16.
What Questions Did You Ask? Were They All Answered?
I mostly listened, and answered my moms questions. However I do help teach the Sex Seminar Class at my school so I was already well versed, also the internet is a good source, as long as you know how to distinguish good sites from bad.
How Were You Feeling During the Sex Talk?
At 13, I was awkward and told my mom to stop talking about it. But I was surprisingly comfortable at 16, my mom was being honest so I felt as if I could reciprocate. I felt respected, and because of that I have taken the decision very seriously and am still a virgin because of it.
How Satisfied Were You After the Sex Talk?
I was glad we had finally talked about it, as a teenager it's not as if it hadn't crossed my mind and I was glad to know that this wasn't something to be ashamed of, my mom really made me feel supported and mature because she put a lot of trust in me.