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Readers Respond: Why Did You Choose Abortion?

Responses: 33

By

Updated April 05, 2011

From the article: Reasons for Abortion

Because of the 1973 Supreme Court case, Roe v. Wade, when facing an unplanned pregnancy, one option available for you to choose is abortion. Even though abortion is the most common surgical procedure performed for women in the U.S., it is also the most stigmatized. The decision to terminate a pregnancy is a topic that is rarely openly discussed.

If you have made this decision, why did you choose abortion? Share your story in making this difficult and complex decision as well as your emotional journey throughout the experience. Please know that your privacy will be upheld, and your choice will be respected and not debated here. By sharing your reasons for choosing abortion, you are putting a personal stamp on an issue that many do not understand. Revealing your abortion story may help other women who are considering whether or not to choose abortion as well as helping to decrease the stigma and misunderstandings about this sensitive issue. Share Your Choice

I was Pro-Life but Acted Pro-Baby

I was 18 and in college when I chose abortion. I was 7 weeks and 5 days along. I had been pro-life my entire life and was raised in a strict Catholic family. When I found out I was pregnant (a shock since we were using contraception), I wanted to keep the baby. After long discussions with my boyfriend, we realized that we were young with bright futures ahead of us. We simply weren't ready. I went against everything I believed in because I felt that it was just as sinful to bringing a child into this world that I could not afford or be a good mother to. After the abortion, I had many recurring thoughts questioning my decision and trying to put it in the context of my religious views. Despite all that, its been almost 3 years and I am completely at peace with my decision to choose abortion. I am pursing a Masters degree and am building a life where I could happily welcome a new baby into sometime in the future.
—Guest Keely

Difficult but Right

To be honest, I never thought it would happen to me. I was using the pill but got pregnant anyway. I chose abortion because I couldn't see a way to raise three children on my one income. We just moved to a new city then my husband left me. I was raising 2 kids on my own in a new place with no family or resources. Not a good time to become pregnant. I spent many painful hours thinking about this decision. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to the new baby or to my other kids – living in a 2 bedroom apt on welfare. So, after much soul-searching, I had an abortion during my first trimester. It turns out that I ended up getting back together with my husband (months later). It would be so easy to play the "what if" game, but I can’t let myself do that. Who knows what would have happened if I kept the baby? There will always be a twinge of pain, but NO regrets. In my heart, I know that I made the best choice at the time.
—Guest Clover

abortion

i have to decided for abortion because my husband was careless and will not take care of me or a child.
—Guest swati

Not my choice, but his

My ex husband and I were five months into our relationship when we fell pregnant. Both of us didn't make a lot of money, but we disagreed about keeping the baby. I wanted to raise it because apart from my religious beliefs, it just made sense to me that when a sperm cell and a woman's egg are joined, it contains all the information for it to be a human being, no matter if it doesn't look like one yet. We are born and do not look the same as when we are 13, 45 or 80. It is a living being. We keep on maturing, so it would mean to me that if I had an abortion it would make the living being cease to exist. Murder. I later found that he was also extremely controlling and abusive on every level. It was just another way of controlling me, and I fell for it. I regret having done this. I was 23 then, naive and didn't realize that I was being abused psychologically. He also made me feel as if I was going to lose him if I didn't go through with it and I loved him dearly. Wish I was stronger.
—Guest Hope

Right choice for us

I have 2 crazy fun boys. I love them so much. When I got pregnant again with our 3rd child. I wrestled with my choice to abort all the way up to the procedure date. It was the absolute best decision for us. I dont feel like people make the decision to abort because its the easy way out. They dont because its what they feel is best for them in whatever walk of life they are in. I feel like all my indecision came from what society tells us is right and wrong. And the judgement because im already a mom so why wouldnt i keep my baby. But im happy with my decision it was right for me and my husband. Thats all that matters.
—Guest Mia

I made the right choice

I'm 22 with a 2 year old son.. I found out I was pregnant sometime in the beginning of November for the 2nd time in my life.. My situation at this time was broken up with my sons father of 6yrs for about 7/8 months.. I was not seeing this particular partner that I conceived with but were good friends since grade school. I didn't really consider him in the decision to have an abortion because I thought this was my choice my life my body. Around the time I found out I was pregnant I was very upset with myself for not being more responsible but I didn't for a second stop thinking about my son and how this would affect his life, and how financially I couldn't afford this child.It was a very simple decision for me, I had the surgical procedure December 9th a Monday as I was 11weeks. My experience was great everything went smoothly. And I can say I have no regrets and do not feel sad or depressed, I feel relief knowing I can still give my son the life he deserves.
—Guest Erica

im not sorry.

I'm scheduled for an abortion tomorrow morning. I couldn't be happier. I have a one year old who I raise by myself, the one time I was unsure of my decision I looked into the eyes of my son and I knew that in order to be the best mother I can, having another baby was not an option. No one can tell you what is right for you, make your own decisions and follow your heart.
—Guest lyla

Torn

I am 21 and this will be my 3rd abortion.Now going on my 3rd which I am painfully embarrassed of, I'm torn in between decisions.Still w/ the same guy from my second I recently found out that I am about 6 weeks pregnant. After we talked we both came to the conclusion that i still am not ready mainly because of financial reasons. I've only finished school to gain a certificate which I am not even working in that field.I work a minimum wage & barely supporting myself.Recently my bf or should I say ex bf are currently at a stand still in our relationship due to domestic violence in which I am the victim. Right now at this very moment for some reason this abortion is the hardest decision out of all of them. In my heart I feel emotionally that I am ready.But given the financial situation and the fact that I've justs learned that the father of my child is abusive, this sad decision is one that I'm forcing myself to make. My heart is broken.
—Guest Light

We can barely afford 3

I'm currently laid off from a great position with a city agency. My husband had been a stay at home dad due to the single income, but has found a craptacular night job to help make ends meet. We lost all health insurances with my lay off and rely on state aid now. My husband and I weren't even sexually active yet. I had post partum cycles I'd been tracking and that week we should have been safe. Turns out I ovulated a week early. There was no way we could afford another child. I feel hypocritical because we have 3 beautiful kids and I had to turn down becoming a mom for the 4th time. I know this was best for our family, I just hate the timing of it all. I'm also angry that what should have been a safe week wasn't while my medical abortion went fine, I hated that as usual I had to endure something birth related that my husband could never totally understand.
—Guest Anon

unsure

I am 23 years old and I have 2 daugthers i love very much (one 7 an the other 3). I have had 2 abortions already in my life due to being young and unsafe with sex. I just found out i am pregnant with my 3 baby. I am a single mom and am struggling evey day to keep afloat. I have made appt to end my pregnancy. But for some resson this decision has become very hard. I don't know if I am going to keep it or abort. I don't wont to live with regrets but i don't wont to regret the child either...I am so unsure but I pray i make the right choice.
—Guest ashley

In the end...

I am a 22 year old college student. My family falls into the 1% of America. The 'wealthy'. Due to this, I was never required to work nor support myself. As long as I was doing well in school, my family told me they would care after me. Two weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. The first words out of my boyfriends mouth was "When is the abortion?". My mother told me that if I decided to keep the child, I would be forced out of the house and written off as dead. I have no way of supporting myself in this world yet and while I know I could get onto welfare, that doesn't seem like the right thing to do. It just hurts everyone. With a heavy heart, I went into an abortion clinic yesterday; protestors screaming at me for being a horrible person. I wish I could have found a way to keep my baby. But in the end, I cannot force my boyfriend to be a father if he doesn't want it, and I cannot survive without the help of my family. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I hope I chose right.
—Guest Here's to hoping

No regrets

I am a 49 yo woman who had a safe, legal abortion almost 30 years ago and have never regretted it for a moment. I encourage each woman to make this decision based upon her individual circumstances. Had it not been legal I would have gone to a back alley butcher.
—Guest Thinker

Mistake

I will always wish someone had told me that adoption was a responsible and admirable option. I was far too young to have a child and in a brand new relationship. Ten years later we are still together and still childless, having been unable to conceive since the abortion. If I had adopted out my child at least they would still be out there somewhere, living with a chance of happiness. And maybe I would still be able to have other kids- but even if I couldn't, that knowledge that my child lived would at least be there. Even though I justified the decision at the time, tried to convince myself it was in the baby's best interests as well as our own, now all I have is sorrow and regret and the guilt of knowing I prevented a beautiful life from entering this world. As someone who now wants to adopt I know the pain of the couples who desire to care for the children whose parents can't, but I feel too guilty to care for someone else's child when I didn't give the same gift to someone else.
—Guest Friend

Not the Right Time

I am 22 loving at home with parents. My boyfriend has ended our relationship after finding out I'm pregnant. I am on a gap year and returning to university in September, I have student loan debts not a stable work schedule as I will be a student Teacher which means no income. I cannot financially support a family, my parents are unaware as I will be kicked out? The pregnancy was a accident, and I do not feel ready to be a parent. Think I will have to terminate - this is not the right time to have a baby.
—Guest Star

I miss my Angel; Mommys so sorry baby

To any young girl who is confused or scared please read our stories before you make your choice. Im 18 and I chose medical (oral) abortion 6 months ago. I was always pro-life, the type that couldnt even harm a fly, yet here i am confessing the murder of my own child. No body tells you that your heart becomes bitter and cold. Truth is, its the worst decision you live with forever. Its normal to be scared and stressed. But i didnt realize that at the time and i wish i knew then what i know now. I cry all the time feeling sorry for no one but my daughter or son who i named Angel. I dont want to relive the day, April 5th, 9 weeks pg, 5 hours after i took the first pill, I was on the toilet, loosing so much blood and golf balls of clots, soon after, Angel came out. (Sigh) I saw my babys heart, their little hands twitching, I was screaming, crying, apologizing to Angel for the HUGE mistake Mommy and daddy made. I pray everyday to not only God but to Angel, that they forgive me :(
—Guest Misses her baby

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Why Did You Choose Abortion?

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