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Readers Respond: Why Did You Choose Abortion?

Responses: 18

By

Updated April 05, 2011

From the article: Reasons for Abortion

Because of the 1973 Supreme Court case, Roe v. Wade, when facing an unplanned pregnancy, one option available for you to choose is abortion. Even though abortion is the most common surgical procedure performed for women in the U.S., it is also the most stigmatized. The decision to terminate a pregnancy is a topic that is rarely openly discussed.

If you have made this decision, why did you choose abortion? Share your story in making this difficult and complex decision as well as your emotional journey throughout the experience. Please know that your privacy will be upheld, and your choice will be respected and not debated here. By sharing your reasons for choosing abortion, you are putting a personal stamp on an issue that many do not understand. Revealing your abortion story may help other women who are considering whether or not to choose abortion as well as helping to decrease the stigma and misunderstandings about this sensitive issue.

I was Pro-Life but Acted Pro-Baby

I was 18 and in college when I chose abortion. I was 7 weeks and 5 days along. I had been pro-life my entire life and was raised in a strict Catholic family. When I found out I was pregnant (a shock since we were using contraception), I wanted to keep the baby. After long discussions with my boyfriend, we realized that we were young with bright futures ahead of us. We simply weren't ready. I went against everything I believed in because I felt that it was just as sinful to bringing a child into this world that I could not afford or be a good mother to. After the abortion, I had many recurring thoughts questioning my decision and trying to put it in the context of my religious views. Despite all that, its been almost 3 years and I am completely at peace with my decision to choose abortion. I am pursing a Masters degree and am building a life where I could happily welcome a new baby into sometime in the future.
—Guest Keely

Difficult but Right

To be honest, I never thought it would happen to me. I was using the pill but got pregnant anyway. I chose abortion because I couldn't see a way to raise three children on my one income. We just moved to a new city then my husband left me. I was raising 2 kids on my own in a new place with no family or resources. Not a good time to become pregnant. I spent many painful hours thinking about this decision. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to the new baby or to my other kids – living in a 2 bedroom apt on welfare. So, after much soul-searching, I had an abortion during my first trimester. It turns out that I ended up getting back together with my husband (months later). It would be so easy to play the "what if" game, but I can’t let myself do that. Who knows what would have happened if I kept the baby? There will always be a twinge of pain, but NO regrets. In my heart, I know that I made the best choice at the time.
—Guest Clover

Never again

I had an abortion and not a day goes by that I don't wonder "who" that baby was going to one day be. But ultimately, that was my child. My first-born. I had an abortion because, paradoxically, I felt I had no choice. It is so sad to read all of these comments. I had an abortion because I didn't want my life to change. It's taken me 20 years to make peace with God, myself and my child in heaven.
—Guest Jenna

2 abortions

I didnt choose abortion. at the time my boyfriend and I had 1 child and he didnt waant to be tied down by kids. He wanted to party at the clubs and cheat and while I was on birth control I became pregnant for the second time. He didnt care at all. all he cared about was me getting rid of baby number 2. Then about a year later came baby 3. He expressed to me he did not want anymore kids. I aborted the 3rd one. I became pregnant a fourth time and my son will be 11 in august. now in my late thirties I realize how i didnt do this for me I did it for him. I didnt know the consequesnses of my ignorance. I am sorry i did it. really sorry. Make the choice for yourself. You have the right to choose no matter what anyone says.
—Guest mistakes I made in my 20

1492

I had a late term abortion and everyday I wish I would have did it different. Boy or girl, I will never know : ( -- it's been 2 years and I still wonder!
—Guest .....

Lost

Im 20yrs old with a 2yr old and a 8 month old. I been on birth control when i got pregnant this time. My baby's father and I are broken up and we fight a lot. I struggle to support my 2children, so this is why I'm choosing abortion. I know for a fact that I can't raise another child. I just can't especially having a dead beat baby daddy. I'm so scared but I know it's for the best for me and my 2 kids.
—Guest Lost and confused

Wrong place, wrong time.

I was in a relationship with another girl when I was 17. Prior to dating her, my best friend and I were sexually involved. Needless to say, it was not okay to find out I was pregnant in this situation. We hadn't used a condom because (he argued) it felt better. Never did I ever think this would happen to me. Considering I was a student living at home, with many peers and my future ahead of me, I decided I could not support the child. I went through with abortion without my family knowing (they remain unaware to this day), and did not tell my girlfriend. My best friend seemed to brush off the idea entirely, he was absent through the whole thing. Despite the months of mental and physical stress, I am happy with the decision I made. It only would've been worse the other way. I am now in a loving relationship and hope to someday have children, when the time is right. >If you are struggling, PLEASE choose what is right for you, your health, and your/your baby's future. You will be ok. :)
—Guest Riley

not ready

I had an iud that was due to come out and my husband and I, being of the right age (whatever that means), decidied that we would just try and be careful for it not to happen, to buy us some more time. I didn't want to be on birth control anymore, as I had either had the iud, or the depo shot or the pill for the last ten years. We weren't ready for a permenent solution either. So within six months of my iud coming out I got pregnant. We initially approached it as if we would have it. Neither of us seemed happy about it, it was more of jusst going through the motions. We didn't tell anyone, although I was still very early, 6 weeks at that point. Ultimately, I decided to go ahead with an abortion because the idea of having a baby made me feel overwhelmingly sad. I felt like my life would be over. I just didn't want any part of it and felt that I would be giving up too much to do it.
—shortyhoff

not a saint

I was 26 separated from my husband with one child. I was dating a guy who I though was a saint. I found out I was pregnant and wanted the child he already had 3 of his own and said ok. 7/8 weeks into the pregnancy I phoned him a woman answered and told me they were together for 1 year and she knows that there is another woman who he is with for the past year and half. I cried for 2 dys straight and wondered what to do. I wasn't going to have a child for a cheating bastard so I ended the relationship and the pregnancy at the same time.
—Guest Guest cristal

Family Man

I am 22 years old, graduated college and had been dating my live-in boyfriend for a year. I was not on birth control and he wasn't using condoms, I assumed that we both understood the consequences of our actions and that if a pregnancy was to occur we would buckle down, have the baby, and get through it stronger, better and together. To my surprise, he had always assumed we would have an abortion. I struggled with the decision for 9 weeks before deciding to abort. Although I still feel like I could have done it by myself with the support of my family and that I would have been a great mother and been able to give my child a great life, I couldn't bare to have a child whose father did not want him/her... I guess my beliefs on family overcame those of abortion. I blame myself for believing in the wrong man and for that I paid greatly and had to deal with the loss of my first and possibly only child, however, the thing I believe in most is family and you can't force a boy into a father.
—Guest KeepOn

43 and not supposed to get pregnant

I am 43 years old. I was told when i was 28 by a fertility specialist that i would never get pregnant because of my poly cystic ovaries. I went through fertility treatments which resulted in 2 pregnancies. My oldest is 14 and my twins are 11. Needless to say I was never worried about getting pregnant as is was so hard for us to have the kids that we had. I have always been on the birth control pill to regulate my cycle due to the Poly Cystic Ovaries. For some strange and very unknown reason I became pregnant. I was in total shock and denial about the pregnancy. How could this happen??? After a long discussion with my husband we decided to terminate the pregnancy. To be thrown back into the baby thing, I just started a new job, financially it would be very hard and not fair to our other children and I just do not think that I have the patience for a young child at this stage of my life. The decision was hard to make but we thought it was best option for us this late in life.
—Guest guest Ashley

Still think about it

I was in my 20's living on my own for the first time in NYC. I was dating a guy casually, but we hooked up. I got pregnant, and thought no way, I cant have a baby now. But my heart told me I couldn't have an abortion, partly because of the way I was raised. He washed his hands of the pregnancy and didn't see him again, so I was left on my own. After a month of agonizing I decided to go ahead and have an abortion. To this day I regret it and wished I would have carried my baby to term and put it up for adoption. I still wonder if the baby was a boy or a girl to this day.
—Guest Maggie

Right choice

I used contraception, yet fell pregnant with our first encounter. Neither were ready, and then the father disappeared overseas. Knowing I wasn't ready to do it alone, I aborted. I had a flash-forward of how it would be, alone, and knew I couldn't love that child with all my heart, so I sent it back to Papatuanuku until I was ready. She blessed me eight years later, and I know I made the right choice. I love my child with all my might, because I was ready, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically to give it my all. I was too selfish and mixed up when I fell pregnant the first time; ready, willing and able to love without reserve second time around. Truly blessed!
—Guest Grace Miller

Medical Risks and Bad Timing

I am choosing abortion (I haven't had it yet, it is scheduled in two days and I am terrified) for a few reasons. The main one is because I am currently on Methadone as a treatment for drug addiction. I was on a small dosage for my 2nd pregnancy with my daughter and as a result it was very high risk. Luckily she was healthy but was very small. With this pregnancy i am on a much higher dose and the risks are greatly increased. It is almost inevitable that the baby would have severe withdrawals (pain, tremors, low birth weight or worse) and would require being on Morphine and a long NICU stay). I do not want to subject a baby to that suffering as withdrawals from pain meds are almost unbearable to a grown adult. Other reasons are i am 23 years old and already have two children ages 4 and 2, and i am struggling as it is. I am in a very unhealthy relationship with their father and cannot handle another. For the Record I was on the pill at the time of conception
—Guest Babygurljrl

I regret having an abortion.

I had an abortion when I was pregnant with my third child. I was about 7/8 weeks. I was so frightend of how we would manage -- already had a 2 year old and a 1 year old. But that is the biggest regret and mistake we made. To be honest, I can't stop thinking about it even though its been 9 years. I hate my self for doing that -- I always think if only...
—Guest bueno

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