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Readers Respond: Tips for Successfully Being Abstinent

Responses: 4

By

Updated November 28, 2011

Many people choose to practice being abstinent. You may make this decision due to moral, personal or religious reasons. Teens may decide to be abstinent because they do not feel ready for the responsibilities that go along with sexual activity. If you are abstinent, you can be 100% sure that you will not become pregnant. That being said, in the “heat of the moment,” some people may find being abstinent to be challenging – and may possibly go against their decision (and later regret it).

If you have successfully managed being abstinent, please share your secrets! What about being abstinent do you find most challenging, and how have you overcome obstacles? What are your best tips of making abstinence work in your life?

Celebrate Your Decision to be Abstinent!

I chose to be abstinent (for now) because I do not need any of the hassles associated with a sexual relationship. I am working towards my Masters degree and don’t need an unplanned pregnancy to get in my way. My best advice is to stay away from serious relationships – then there’s very little temptation. I casually date, but am always honest about my intentions and my abstinence upfront. I usually hang out with friends and study. I am proud of my choice (that is another important tip – celebrate your decision to be abstinent). I have my priorities and goals set and know exactly what I want to accomplish in the next few years and how to avoid potential pitfalls to my achievements!
—Guest DeterminedMastersStudent

Being Abstinent show peoples true colors

I got pregnant at 17 & had an abortion. Since then, I’ve decided to be abstinent until I’m married. So, if I get pregnant again, it‘ll be the right time. If I’m feeling tempted, I remind myself of all the pain I went through and know that I don’t want to end up back in that situation. I’m 22 now & have been successfully abstinent. I am seriously dating a man (possible husband material). From the start, I made my abstinence decision clear and nonnegotiable. He’s been very supportive and admires my convictions. We find other ways to be intimate- cuddling, hold-hands, romantic dinners & walks. I also think we have a strong emotional intimacy b/c the physical stuff isn’t getting in the way. A man willing to respect your abstinence decision & never pushes you has the type of character for a future husband. If a guy tried to push me to give in, good-bye! I deserve to be respected & being abstinent has allowed me to separate out the good boys from the not-so-good ones! Being abstinent works!
—Guest Briella

Waited and Proud!

I waited till i got married before i ever had sex. So it is very possible for one to do the same :) I never really had much of challenge for sticking to my vow to wait, but i think thats because i made sure that most of the people i was around shared the same values! I think that was most important, they never put pressure on me to do otherwise. I also think its even more important to make sure the guy you are with shares the same values and or respects you for your decision and wont pressure you! and if they do, well to bad for them! if they cant wait for you, then they are NOT worth your time!
—Guest Elaine

You're not alone!!

Like you I made a purity vow when I was 16. One thing that helped is that I wore a ring on my "wedding finger" as a reminder, and it gave me lots of opportunities when people asked about it to share my convictions. What I'm doing, and not doing, and why. i was always very up front with anyone who asked, and then having everyone know about the commitment I'd made helped keep me more accountable, since everyone would know I'd gone against everything I just said I believed in! I found that even people who didn't share my convictions respected me for having them. I waited until I got married when I was 25 and was able to give my husband the gift of a lifetime on our wedding night. Who cares what the people in college said or thought anyway? Talk about an artificial environment. In the real world, being faithful to myself and my beliefs and my future husband are the real things that matter. To have that long term perspective of what's really important helped me wait. And I'm so glad I did!
—Guest Waited til my wedding night

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